What I Can Control and What I Cant Control

What I Can Control and What I Can’t

Nov 30, 2022

When life feels overwhelming, it can be easy to feel stuck in a cycle of stress, worried, and overwhelmed. But there are things you can do to cope and find some calm. We all need to be reminded that there are things that are in our control and also out of our control. Not a single person will react like me in all situations. We are all unique. Please see a few things that are out and in our control.

Out of our Control:

  • The past
  • The future
  • The actions of others
  • The opinions of others
  • What happens around me
  • What other people think of me
  • The outcome of my effort
  • How others take care of themselves

In my Control:

  • My Boundaries
  • My thoughts and actions
  • The goals I set for myself
  • What I give my energy to
  • How I speak to myself
  • How I handle challenges

Notice your mindset. The way you think about things does affect the way you feel. If you tell yourself something is too complicated or too stressful, it will feel that way. But if you tell yourself you can handle something hard, you’re more likely to be able to.

Focus on what you can control. Try not to focus on what you can’t. Make a list of the things that cause you stress. Then decide which items you can act on and which you can’t. This can remind you to accept what’s in your control and what isn’t.

Spend time doing things that are meaningful to you. For example, you could do projects with your friends, family, and animal, write postcards to friends or do random acts of kindness for people. Do things that make you feel good or bring you joy.

Look for sources of stress you can limit. Then take steps to limit them. That might mean limiting how much you use your phone, watch the news, go onto social media, or even having less contact with certain people.

Take more breaks. Pay attention to your current challenges but find ways to take your mind off them. Spend time on a hobby or project. Call a friend. Start watching a new TV series. Whatever you decide, make sure it makes you happy and feels worth your time.

Be sure your coping strategies are helpful. Find things to do that help calm and relax you. Reading for fun or going to the beach. Just make sure that the things you’re doing to cope are helping rather than hurting.

 

(infographic by @agrassoblog)